My little dude does not like change. He’s 8 years old, and to be fair, he’s had a whole lot of change in his short lifetime. I keep reminding him that change is inevitable, and that he’s going to have a lifetime full of it. But no matter what I say, he continue to struggle against this reality.
Truthfully he’s not alone. Most grown ups have a difficult time with change too. And in a time when everything around us is constantly changing, how do we maintain our inner stability and calm?
In my private practice, when trying to help clients cope with change, I’ve often used the metaphor of a tree. When the storm comes, it blows the tree around something fierce! Sometimes all the leaves fall off, and the boughs break. But the tree remains standing.
We have to find a way, to be like those strong, deeply grounded trees, so that no matter what life throws at us, even though we might bend from the strain of it, we stay standing. It may take time to recuperate from that shakedown, whatever it may be. But we can, and will grow back our leaves, and establish a new self.
But how? How do we stand firm, in the face of constant, and sometimes, unwanted change?
By accepting that the change, whatever it might be, is happening.
By doing our best to breathe through it.
By being mindful of the moment, and the feelings we are having. Because even in the upheaval, there is learning to be done, and purpose to be found.
By staying grounded in the knowledge that all will be okay. And even though those might at first feel like empty words, if you say it enough, you will start to believe it.
These are the messages I will continue to give my little guy, and tell myself too. Because the only constant in this life, is change.